Infinitely, and Indefinitely
by kouhas
Summary: There are too many things that you would never be able to guess right in this world. Kouen is one of them. But maybe that's fine, after all, what is a romance without any mystery? [kouen/reader]


**/spoiler free.**

Maybe it was the way he would only let you in, as he silently read, mulling over his thoughts in his study. Maybe it was the way he was so _fit _to lead people, and easily captured your loyalty and faith. Maybe it was the way he would spin you in his strong hands, which would then settle onto your waist in just the right way. All of these could be simple reasons why you were so unbelievably in love with the emperor-to-be, Ren Kouen.

Kouen was such a dream boat.

This wasn't the first time that certain thoughts crossed your mind, questioning Kouen's judgement in picking you to wed. What made you so different from the rest? What had drawn him to you exactly? Was he just blinded by your flaws, or did he embrace them?

You could rule out that he was allured by an overwhelming confidence, because it would take only one look at you to see that you were meek and too modest. You also could cross out that you were perfect for the position of empress. If anything, the thought of looking down at your subjects because of your unity with Kouen frightened you. War, marriage, scandal, war, death - you've never kept up with what was rampant in the palace, much less a whole empire. Oh, and politics annoyed you to bits.

Even then, you were reassured by the time night crept along. In the flicker of the candlelight Kouen would trace your curve with his fingers, eyes trained on your expression. With every mewl or low purr, his eyes were darken more and more, and his lip would curl up into his signature smug grin. Then you'd shiver not at his beard tickling your lower stomach, but from the intensity of his gaze.

This night, Kouen was in his study.

Of course, you were free to come in, so you did. Mildly intrigued, but to no amount of Kouen's interest, you skimmed over the countless amount of documents rolled up and stuffed into the cubbies. Some were fresh parchment, others yellowing prophesies from times long ago. With a sigh you returned to your husband's side, eyes heavy.

"Kouen," you groaned, mind blurring the lines between consciousness and sleep.

Kouen hummed in response, eyes darting across his papers. He reached blindly for his ink and brush, only feeling the surface of his desk. You, slightly amused, pushed them into his aimless hands. He did the same for his cup of steaming tea, and you obliged and nudged that too into his fingers.

"Kouen," you repeated, a bit with an edge.

Kouen breathed out his mouth, gently so you wouldn't tell it was a tired sigh. But you always did. He placed his brush down, stroking the tuft of red on his chin.

"Kouen," you breathed, snaking a hand subtlety through his robes and stroking his chest. You could feel the warmth radiating from his chest, so unlike the apathetic faces he made during the day. Truthfully, everything about Kouen was undeniably warm and comforting, behind the exterior of course. Your eyes drifted to a close. You focused on breathing, and matching yours with his. You and him were still, and all the rustling died down to a soft quietness.

Kouen's hand found its way to your shoulders and caressed them. Kouen leaned in and met your lips with his. Your heart was startled for a second, but slowed down to a joyful, steady beat. Through a simple chaste kiss you felt so much emotion, some that one couldn't describe. It was an emotion you knew Kouen could never explain with his words. But you understood it well, and clearly.

Maybe this was why you were heads over heels for Ren Kouen. He wasn't naturally a talking sort of person. He was a man who could enjoy and appreciate the silence given to him. A man who could communicate so perfectly with a gesture one wouldn't notice without watchful eyes. A flick of the wrist, a quirk of the lip, a blink of the eye. They were all slight.

Of course, in no way were you perceptive enough to know his thoughts word for word. He knew too many things you didn't.

But maybe you were close.

* * *

**whoa? reader fic without kouha i'm so proud**

**there's not enough kouen love... even though he can't compare to the lovely kouha and koumei, and his chara is hard to write, i'd love to see fanfics ;n;**

**i wish i could write longer pieces without getting bored**

**until then, its like 800 word pwp forever~**

**any criticism?! please tell me and help me improve ;u;**

**review, follow, fav you know the drill ouo**


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